I don’t really fancy married at all, it as to do with my upbringing I never grow up in a stable home and I found happiness when my parents were apart rather than together. I really don’t like the idea of marriage because I see it as a cage, mind you im not totally against it I just think it wouldn’t suit me, I never grew up in a family home so I don’t know how to build one.
A guy asked me out and I agreed only on the condition that we wouldn’t get married, he refused saying what’s the point of the relationship if it wouldn’t lead to marriage, even though I don’t like the idea of marriage I do want to feel loved and wanted, I still do want kids and some sort of companionship, as crazy as it sounds I just want a baby daddy, I wouldn’t have a child with him because I want to money, nop I’m already trying to establish myself, I really want to be financially independent so as to take care of my kids.
Now the main reason I don’t want marriage is because of my Independence, I don’t want to answer to anyone at all and I know it will be difficult if I’m married to someone because in every marriage there is a level of dependence that is needed to make the marriage work, whether you are a man or woman u don’t just do what you like especially when there is a child involved, secondly I’m thinking about the emotional stress my kids will go though if the marriage doesn’t work, I don’t want my child to grew up with memories of dad beating mum, mum shouting at dad, mum throwing a knife at dad and incase I do divorce I don’t want my child to be in a state of depression, thirdly most Nigeria men treat their wives as trash, I Know what I’m talking about they don’t value their wives, some see them as property other than an actual human being, some think of their wives as house maids and will refuse to do anything in the house or even allow the woman to get a help, some are also serial cheaters and don’t see anything wrong with cheating because as they put it “I be man”. Now I know that some women are equally as bad but I’m just stating my concern as a woman after all I’m not going to walk down the alter with a woman by my side.
So that’s all I need my Independence, stability and control, people are saying I will regret but I really think it’s for the best for me, I feel like I have a lot of time to think as I plan on having children at 28 but I don’t know if my opinion will change then.
I’m I stupid for not wanting marriage?